Monday, February 23, 2015

Entitlement vs Empowerment

Here's an idea....
Instead of our children growing to feel this sense of quite obvious entitlement, they should instead feel as they begin their journey away from us as parents a sense of Empowerment!

 Blessed that they can stand on their own two feet, lean on one another (all siblings, yes even step...you are a family).  Know that they can kneel and pray for wisdom and guidance!  Have the confidence (not to be confused with cockiness) we, as parent's and God gave them to take risks, fall down, make some mistakes. Because, yes you are kids.  Maybe some of you are even considered young adults or even yes its true...Adults.  Then own those mishaps!  Pray for forgiveness and ask for help.  We are here as you're biggest fans. Watching you grow has and will be our privelidge we were blessed with.  Go out there and become who you are, raise your children with the integrity we so pray we have wanted for each of you.  We do not want a bunch of Thursday's for you.  LIVE, LAUGH and oh....please LOVE! 

Stop thinking the world owes you.  You're parents owe you.  We do not owe you anything.  Most of my generation worked.  Yes, we worked AND went to high school.  We bought our own beat up used car's and fell on our faces, some more than others.  We did not have trust funds, college funds, financial safety nets that we could be so cocky as to think we could just do as we pleased without consequences or those nets having holes we could not see.  Some of us grew up fast and some of us may have taken longer but we grew up.  This generation today... my babies included for some unknown reason to me as they were primarily raised by a single mother that worked, a father that built his own career from grease to top without a college degree and now a paternal father figure that has built his own business in what should have been the worst economy through pure determination and sweat... yet, still even my children believe in this sense of entitlement.  You all want to be treated as adults but then not act like one.  You want to keep that hand out and then snatch it away when you fall down.  Crawl home or into our laps and cry "im just a kid".  

This is not life my love's.  Life is hard, it will kick you and beat you up.  It is as i have always said the largest roller coaster ever.  There will be more downs then ups and God has a sense of humor.  He will throw loops just when you think you are smooth sailing in a direction you are planning.  Write you're plans in pencil always, because He has the pen and that sense of humor He has will be the cross your carry.    

My own dad always told me, "What i have done for you will be nothing compared to what i expect you to do for my grandchildren.  I have done better than i was given and now i expect you to do the same."  He was the greatest, i remember even as an adult about letting me drive to his office, walk straight to him and crawl in his lap.  He would hold me and say "Ok kiddo, you have 5 min.  Cry, tears are never a bad thing.  They cleanse the soul."  After that 5 minutes, sometimes a titch longer her would push me up.  Tell me to wash my face and go face the music.  "He did not raise a quitter and it was no longer his job to fix it."  Oh, what i wouldnt give for 5 minutes again.  

Because here's the kicker kiddo's, we wont always be here to catch your pretty little asses.  We are not raising quitters.  We are giving you the tools to create a beautiful life.  It is up to you to own it.  Stake your claim.  Set you're boundaries and stand your ground.  Create goals and then see them through.  Going around anything will never solve it.  (trust me)

I know i have kept my word to my dad and done more than my parents did for me for my children and will continue to do unconditionally.   I am blessed to have found a partner that shares that style of parenting.  We do not expect anything for that love and financial help or guidance.  We have wiped those butt's, dried those tears, rocked you to sleep and watched the same movies over and over oh and over, reread books, sat or sat down with you until you slept, helped with homework, driven you all over hell and gone and paid for all those redonkulously priced social events, clothes, sporting events and parties.   We have done this because we love you. We love each hair on you're spoiled head. 

Now, go and do better, be better.  Because you know better!  Say thank you, be kind, tell the truth it is always so much easier to remember,  open doors, over-tip, help someone to the car, go and get those degree's, use them wisely.  Give back what you have been given and please please listen more than your speak.  God gave you two ears, only one mouth.

  Remember always, we are you're biggest fans and regardless of what you may think we will always be rooting for you, but we will not always be here.  Life is short.  

I am so very tired of this generation and this sense entitlement i see every day in strangers. I obviously can go on and on about it.  So this is what i know: Entitlement will land you sadly sometimes very alone.  Empowerment, will keep that head held high and your ass able to bounce back.  Character and your word can never be taken from you.  You are responsible for you.  Stop sticking that hand out and start holding some one else's.  Be grateful.  You are alive and everything is in front of you.  The blame game is false and You're parents really do know what you are up to and why.  Contrary to popular belief, we were you're age once.  Lastly, we really do want the very best for you because we love you.

Now, go.. go and grow up.  Pass what you learn to you're own children if you choose to have them, be careful about what you think you know and Call your parents every now and then because regardless: