"....." you know your a parent!

If your child does not acknowledge your a human... you know your a parent

If you can no longer find your floor... you know your a parent

If you're vehicle is now a traveling taxi/closet/fridge...you know your a parent

when you cant remember the last time you slept more than 4 straight hours..you know your a parent

when you look in your wallet and know that you had cash in there...  you know your a parent

when your children dress better than you do.... you know your a parent

if you hear at least once a week "i hate you" or "you just dont understand"... you know your a parent

when NOTHING is the answer to all questions..... you know your a parent

When you realize that raising these children is an endurance contest ... you know your a parent

when you look at your spouse and cant remember the last time you were intimate...  you know your a parent

when eating out doesnt include ketchup or fries and your happy about it... you know your a parent

when you pick up a pacifier, lick it and stick it back in your childs mouth... you know your the parent of more than two kids

when looking forward to being bored is on your bucket list..... you know your a parent.

when you realize nothing in the house is actually yours anymore... you know your a parent

when using all three of their names is required (and a raised eyebrow) ....you know your a parent

when having all of your kids under one roof both scares you and brings you peace... you know your a parent.

when the FBI, CIA and the local authorities have nothing on you out thinking your child...you know your a parent

When the thought of you're child hurt makes you realize jail does not scare you.... you know your a parent

If you have been peed on, pooped on, thrown up on and told NO or WHY? ....  you know your a parent.

When Christmas brings on fear... you know your a parent

When GPS is your best friend because your child would NEVER lie... you know your a parent

when hiding from your children just to be alone is normal.....you know your a parent

when medicating yourself vs medicating your children is ok...you know your a parent

when on an airplane and everyone compliments you on how great and quiet (ty benedryl) your child is.....you know your a parent.

When you realize Zombies are real, they are teenagers... you know your a parent

When you are positive you had cash that morning and you run for milk..no cash....you know your a parent

when you reach across and cut up your spouses meat ... you know your a parent

when social drinking is on your back patio....you know your a parent

When making a decision and your very breath no longer is just for you...you know your a parent

when you cant remember how you ever lived before that alien(s) you now love, prayed for and were blessed with moved into your life...you know your a parent.

i can go on and on....  Im no redneck, but i am and will always be a parent. Even on the days i wish i could eat my young.......its my favorite thing to be.

Winter even in Texas

I just love this time of year.  In my words:  Cover the fluff sweaters, my boots dusted off, winter coat growing on my legs (yes i said it) , favorite jeans,  chili or stews in the crock pot, no more sweating for my love and watching my kids and animals whiskers and hair in the wind.  Even in Texas this is my favorite time of the year!!

The calm before the chemo chaos

RAMBLINGS & BABBLE

This is not our first battle with cancer as a family.  We have three more.  Two still surviving.  One in heaven i know helping us to fight this time once again.  I have always said i have been surrounded by strong, stubborn women my entire life.  The first battle of breast cancer my step mom beat thanks to family and my Dad.  Now.....facing a new cancer i know more than ever my B is in my life for the same reason.  To support me in my support of one strong stubborn woman.  My step mom! Every time i think back and wonder how in the hell did we end up together?  God answers me once again....you are where you are meant to be exactly in the moment you were supposed to be there.  This man was made just for me from Him.  How blessed am i?  Its surreal (sp?)

The last 6-8 weeks have been challenging to say the least, but what is coming......That is what Girl power is.  This week we do not have one Dr. appointment (for donna).   Just a calm week for Donna.  preparing for  the tests to come and then the horrific poison that will enter her in order to rid herself (only to maintain) temporarily of such an ugly cancer.  My gram is still with us and at almost 91 still living at Donna's and has 24 hour care.  I am not working at this time due to kids, donna, gram, moving, etc..... the list never stops.  Who is going to hire someone that say "oh and um, i need off every other week twice a week and anytime someone craps out on her or  my girls"  LOL  um not.

I look at the women that have come and some even gone from my life, then i look at my daughters look at their Nana (donna).  I know, they will also be strong in their convictions.  I watch them help and understand what is going on as they watch..me, her, B and our family come together in what will only end someday sooner than we had hoped.  But...i know the Devine presence here is He has us to come together.

I look at her handle all she is facing.....in awe.  What do i have to complain about?  I could not be more blessed.  Every time i have a shitty day now.  Every time i get down or over whelmed.  Is it relative?  sure.  Are we struggling? Hell yes.  Am i healthy and loved and have my family that now includes that incredible (and also stubborn) man of mine?  Hell yes!  Am i able to somehow so far.....help her after all she has done for me?  Yes.    Devine Presence i thank You so much as i continue to just try....

I say more than ever, make me laugh.  show me a sunrise or sunset.  With every set of tears i make sure they are followed by laughter.  It has too......crying only makes our eyes swollen, nose red and like my Memom said basically look like crap.  Laughter through tears....Prayer through fear.

Yes, this week i will be washing all the big girl panties.  Charging my broom and preparing to defy gravity once again with this woman i love so much.  People ask me constantly.......How do you keep going?  my answer is always the same.  Where is the choice?  That......was taught to me.

I wear a bracelet as several of us do in my family.  It was given to me after my Dad died.  You may recognize its scripture.  "For God so loved  this world that he gave his only begotten Son, that who so ever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." I never take it off, it keeps my Dad and my Father close.  

This too shall pass..............breathe.   inhale......exhale......repeat.  Cherish what surrounds you and dont blink.