I have three completely different children. They look alike, sometimes smell alike and might even use similar gestures but they are so different. I see me in them a lot. As a mom i want more. More from them, for them and of them. I see their dad as well, even friends i have had in their lives over a span of time and some very recently. We are all teachers to our children.
I have allowed people to hurt me, run over me, abuse me verbally and physically over a span of time. In efforts unknowing to me of "doing the right thing" of course. In these last 19 years my babies have watched a mom set boundaries and then become TOO stubborn. They have seen me go from weak to batshit crazy at times. They have found.....i am human. I pray they see i am consistent in my love for them. I wonder though sometimes when i hear how they treat me, or see how they act towards me? Did they learn that from me? Because of how i allowed others to treat me or because of how i treat others.
I have two that want more.......always more. One that barely asks a thing and only wants quiet. As a child she was the informer. She is my unique love. She doesnt want to be like anyone, she just wants to be someone. The oldest was my rock much to young, i never asked a thing. He would anticipate it and go above and beyond... and in the end that has made him weak. how is that possible? I have no doubt he will achieve great things but the pain he will put himself and others through first is hard to watch. My middle one......my minime. She is the most passionate. she FEELS everything. Then makes sure i FEEL it as well.
If my own children dont understand moms boundaries, how am i assured they set them for others.
I say all the time as it was said to me: Parenting is an uphill challenge, one i was blessed with and quickly outnumbered by. It is an endurance contest - Bill Cosby & Dad said.
between you and me.......its amazing how much i love these three people, such a blessing all day every day..........and it can be exhausting. <3
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